Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which those affected believe they have faked successes, talents and degrees and fear exposure, even though objective evidence shows the opposite. Perfectionism, group anxiety and a lack of self-awareness reinforce the vicious circle.
Key Takeaways
- Impostor syndrome is not a sign of a lack of competence, but a psychological phenomenon that afflicts people who cannot accept their proven abilities and successes as genuine despite existing evidence.
- Those who are prone to impostor syndrome fall into a vicious circle: their own symptoms are seen as proof that they are actually incompetent, which makes an external diagnosis systematically impossible.
- Women in IT develop impostor syndrome more frequently because they are automatically perceived as outsiders in a male-dominated group and at the same time feel like representatives of their entire group.
- The impostor syndrome originally has a sensible protective function, it is intended to protect against embarrassment, but is based on two errors in thinking: You usually really can do the tasks you are aiming for, and mistakes are not the end of the social world even if you are genuinely incapable.
- Realistically calibrating your own standards of perfection helps in concrete terms: if you ask yourself what will really happen in the worst-case scenario, you will realize that the fear almost always outweighs the actual consequences.
What is the Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon, not a medical condition. Those affected feel as if they have faked or lied their successes, talents and degrees. At its core is the fear that someone will find out how bad you supposedly are at the things you apparently do well and that everything will then be taken away again.
Sophie Küster emphasizes the distinction: a phenomenon, not a deficit and not a diagnosis. It is precisely this classification that takes the weight off the subject. If you can name it, you stop thinking you’re crazy.
The evidence to the contrary is usually right in front of you. There is the diploma, the piece of paper that says someone has passed the exam. Nevertheless, your head doesn’t believe your own evidence. The feeling wins out over the facts.
Why logic alone won’t get you out of your head
The Imposter Syndrome cannot be rationally argued away, because it is a feeling and not an error in thinking that can be briefly corrected. You can watch yourself fulfill every criterion of this phenomenon and still think: I really don’t deserve this diploma.
That’s where the insidiousness lies. The mind creates a special rule for itself: only the clever people who falsely doubt themselves have a real imposter syndrome, you yourself are simply not really good enough. This creates a vicious circle from which it is difficult to find a way out.
Once you realize this, you have the first lever in your hand. The feeling doesn’t disappear, but your authority decreases.
First pretend you have self-confidence
If time is short and you have to go on stage, into a meeting or a conversation straight away, the quickest tip is: just pretend. This seems contradictory at first, because you’re afraid of being exposed as an impostor and now you’re also supposed to boost your self-confidence.
But that’s the point: Many people do exactly that, they put on a bit of a show. If you’re the only one not playing along because your inner doubt is holding you back, you’ll fall behind, even though you might be just as capable as the person who says out loud that they’re the coolest person in the room.
If everyone is piling on, this is also allowed in your rules of the game. Otherwise you are slowing yourself down, against no one but yourself.
Perfectionism is the fuel, not the solution
Behind the Imposter Syndrome is often pronounced perfectionism and the fear of being rejected. The worry is not just that you will make a mistake, but that the group will laugh at and reject you for the slightest imperfection. This fear makes the phenomenon so agonizing because there is so much shame attached to it.
It’s easy to overlook the fact that a two-grade diploma is a diploma. If you only pass your driver’s license on the second attempt, you are still allowed to drive. Not everything has to be perfect for it to count.
Imperfection adds character. Perfectly symmetrical AI faces look a bit creepy, a small gap in the teeth and a crooked grin look likeable. It’s the same with an open, authentic demeanor, where you sometimes fall flat on your face. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t do things perfectly.
What people tend to forget is that every little imperfection simply adds character and makes you human.
- Sophie Küster
Why women in IT are particularly affected
Not really belonging is one of the biggest factors behind impostor syndrome. If you don’t seem to fit in with the group, you’re more likely to feel like an intruder who will be found out at any moment.
In the IT world, this affects many women. If the environment is male-dominated, it’s easy to feel lost as a woman and not obviously belong. There is also the added pressure of having to make a double effort to avoid exposing the entire group you involuntarily represent through your own supposed incompetence.
The primal fear behind this is old. Being ostracized used to mean danger. The mind treats a harmless mistake as if belonging were at stake.
Make the whole thing a team sport
Imposter syndrome is better tackled in a team than alone. Team up with other imposters, even a joint puking session will take the pressure off and you’ll get tips from people who have experienced the same thing.
This is particularly useful when it comes to self-praise. Many people find it extremely difficult to praise or promote themselves. Talking about others is much easier. You say about someone else: I know this brilliant speaker. This person says the same about you. This way you praise each other without everyone having to say the unpleasant sentence about themselves.
Openly admitting that you have a problem and don’t know what to do creates closeness. Talking about such issues together creates friendships, and help brings people together.
Find out more about the phenomenon
Knowledge about impostor syndrome is one of the most powerful tools against it. Just learning the word can change a lot. Anyone who thinks they are crazy because their brain convinces them that someone wants to take their A-levels away from them will calm down as soon as they realize that the phenomenon is so common that it has a name. So there are many others who feel the same way.
In concrete terms, this means reading books, listening to podcasts, talking to others about it. Anyone who starts to read up on it suddenly realizes how many of their own thoughts are an expression of precisely this pattern.
Labels and labels are often seen as a bad thing, but they can be beneficial. People who have believed all their lives that they are a bad horse feel liberated when they realize that they were a normal zebra from the start. You won’t be happy if you keep trying to be a horse.
Externalize the inner voice and contradict it
An effective technique is to treat the impostor feeling as your own voice and consciously contradict it. Realize when this imposter voice is speaking in your head and then tell it: shut up, I can do this, I’m doing it now.
Inner contradiction is usually enough. If you slip into a spiral of thoughts, you can also say “stop” out loud to get out of the vortex. It sounds strange, but it helps.
Writing things down also works. If you simply write down your thoughts in the morning, these worries will surface: hopefully no one will think of them. Seeing them on paper takes the weight off them. It’s not that bad.
Ask yourself what the worst can really happen
A realistic scale exposes exaggerated fear. Play the game “What’s the worst that can happen?”, a technique that is also used for anxiety disorders.
Before an exam, it feels like you’re going to drop dead if you fail. Sit down and think it through: if I don’t pass, I have one more try. It’s doable, not the end of the world. The fear is almost always much greater than what can realistically happen.
The fear has a meaningful core. It makes the wolf look bigger, and in evolutionary terms this was useful: our ancestors ran away from the sabre-toothed tiger instead of finding it cute. But today this protective mechanism gallops away where there is no danger at all.
The impostor syndrome has a positive core
Basically, the impostor syndrome wants something good: to protect you from embarrassing yourself. It just exaggerates. There are two flaws in this protective logic.
The first error: you won’t embarrass yourself because you can actually do the thing you’re trying to do. You can do the podcast, she can give the talk. The expertise is there.
The second mistake: Even if you can’t do something, it’s not embarrassing or humiliating. It’s human not to be able to do everything perfectly. You attack the phenomenon at this root by thinking: what is success, what is competence, what successes have I realistically had, and what does failure even mean to me?
Terms such as success and failure are rarely clearly defined. Does success mean your happiness in life, your financial status, your satisfaction? Clarifying this for yourself takes away the vague threatening power of these words.
Be brave and throw yourself in
The most succinct advice at the end of a long topic is: you are not alone, you can do it, you can do it, be brave and throw yourself into it.
Business is made up of the people who run it. Anyone who is preoccupied with themselves, often more than necessary, would do well to talk openly about such topics instead of polishing the mask further and further.
